Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is a ridiculous corporate holiday. Believe me, I use to work for Hallmark. That being said, it can also be a reminder to tell people that you love them. Since most of my posts are agonizing over FTON stuff, I thought it would be a good time to talk about one of the most important reasons why we are here: our amazing friends. So because I am usually better at writing than talking...

Ashley- I love that you cycle with the chickens and throw your whole heart into everything you do. I love how passionately you care for your friends/family and how you still think of your patients when you get off of work. I love how you love women.

Brian-I love how excited you are about your job and how you are always planning for the worker's revolt. I love how well you understand me and that our future kid's first words are probably going to be "fucking republicans." And a lot more. You know.

Dave- I love how much you think about things and how generous you are with your house and time. I don't love it when you leave without saying goodbye, but I do love how smoothly you appear and reappear at 123. You might be a superhero.

Greg- I love how modestly good you are at so many things, especially music. I love that you always seem so calm (not that you have to be!) and how great you are interacting with kids.

Hannah- I love how much you do for other people. I love your tattoos and how you don't take shit from anyone but love everyone so much. I love how you can say no when you need to. I love how you love women.

J. Meier-I love how you give everything you have away. I love that you always seem to know the right prayer or protest song or your mom joke. I love how you are going to be the only one who survives the zombie apocalypse because you are so handy.

Jed- I love how you always include people in conversations and remember little details about everyone. I love how much you care about the kids in FTON and how you keep Bri in line.

JY- This is dorky, but I love how organized you are about FCW, especially your super detailed e-mails. I love how honest and analytical you are, and how many times you have watched the Harry Potter movies.

Karen- I love how kind you are and how much time you spend cooking delicious and healthy potluck meals for everyone! I love that you guys have decided to make the drive to FTON and be a part of the community.

Kelly- I love how deeply you care about everything and everyone. I love how strongly you feel things and how you always get the job done. I love how you understand. I love how you love women.

Nathan-Ditto on the drive thing-it may seem like a short drive to FTON but it is a long culture shift, if that makes sense. I also love your awesome dance moves!

Patience- I love how you send people postcards and how you love Walt and Emma G. I love how you are better at reading poetry out loud than any of my English teachers and how passionate you are. I love how you love women.

Rachel- I love how your house is an extension of you and that you bring color and happiness to FTON and your friends. I also love your awesome dance moves! I love how you love women.

Ryder-I love how you built a house for Thoreau. I love how well you get along with everyone and still hang out with your friends outside of FTON. I love how much you love candy and Kelly, not in that order.

So mushy but true! Even though I don't say it enough, I love you all and am so lucky to call you my friends/family. Framily.

White

Apparently having a dissertation draft due makes me want to blog more.

The first grader I tutor is possibly the smartest kid in FTON. Her family is from Tanzania. Both her older siblings are in college and her mother checks in on her at school all of the time. Even though they are Muslim and don't celebrate Christmas, they get me a vanilla scented holiday candle every year. I wonder how they feel about the neighborhood.

Today, we were picking flashcard words and trying to make sentences out of them. Since it has been snowing all day, I put down, "Today is full of white ---." "How do you think I am going to finish the sentence?" I asked. She looked around her inquisitively and said, "Today is full of white children?"

Warm

It is winter and cold. We try to keep the heat pretty low, to save resources and in solidarity with our neighbors who can't afford their gas bills or are on the street. Honestly, we feel guilty heating an entire house for two people.

Sometimes I get really cold and annoyed and turn up the heat.

Sometimes I get really cold and annoyed and think about Thoreau, who said that the rich aren't just warm, they're unnaturally hot. And I keep the heat down.

Today, I came into my office and found Asher shivering in front of the turned-off space heater I use when I am working at home.

We aren't planning to have kids any time very soon, but it is probably our next big step and we spend a lot of time thinking about and researching things before they actually happen. When I saw Asher staring up at me reproachfully with her big, crazy dog eyes I felt horrible. I realized that when we have kids, we are going to have to make our house warmer.

Why does Asher deserve to be warmer than the street cats, that I also name and worry about? She doesn't, and I don't deserve to be warmer than Ed or Bill or anyone on the street. But she is MY dog and I love her and I want her to be safe and sheltered.

What else will have to change?

19th Century Community Fail: Fruitlands

"We are all a little wild here with numerous projects of social reform. Not a reading man but has a draft of a new community in his waistcoat pocket." -Emerson, (1840)

Brian is fond of saying that no community ever really fails, because any amount of time living your ideals is a success no matter how long it lasts. That being said, if a community could fail, it would be Fruitlands, the current topic of my dissertation.

Fruitlands was started by Charles Lane and Bronson Alcott, who is now better known as the father of Louisa May. Like most Utopian communities of this time, they strove to blend manual and intellectual labor in order to become increasingly spiritual individuals. The cards were stacked against Fruitlands from the beginning. They planted too late and were overwhelmed with entertaining visitors eager to see the experiment but not work for it. The somewhat eccentric thirteen members of the community included a nudist and formerly institutionalized philosopher, who were more interested in talking than weeding. To top it off, Lane and Alcott decided to go on a lecture tour right before harvest, leaving Abba Alcott (his wife) and the future stars of Little Women (all under thirteen at the time) to do all the work.

The main reason the experiment failed, though, is the struggle over the definition of family. Lane argued for a consociate family of all people. Abba constantly maintained her preference for her biological family, recognizing the importance of a larger connection between people but fighting for the well being of her children above all else. Lane maintained that spiritual perfection couldn't be reached until the Alcott family dissolved their personal ties and committed to the larger community. When they ultimately refused, he left for the Shakers, an enormously successful community that rejected marriage and raised adopted children communally. (I would argue their success came more from their work ethic and ability to charge a lot for their furniture rather than their celibate lifestyle, but anyway...Apparently no marriages and few kids=money)

The struggle to balance the needs of your nuclear family with your commitment to the larger community is something I am sure we will struggle with, especially when we have children. Right now, the only way I could ever see us leaving Franklinton is if we felt it was seriously injuring our children in some way, although I'm not sure what that would look like. Abba left Fruitlands when the children were faced with starvation, but I am sure our experiences won't be as cut and dry. At the same time, there are many children we care about in the community who don't have the option to leave and why should our kids be any different? Shouldn't we continuing working to improve the community for all of the children?

Of course, a lot of our friends are successfully raising amazing kids in the neighborhood and this is not something we really have to worry about yet. So now I am going to enjoy the sunshine, avoid grading for awhile, and spend more time with the Alcotts. They are fun to hang out with. Tonight, "The Waste-Land" at the Wex and an Old Hundred show. My real friends are fun to hang out with, too.