Paranoia, Paranoia (nobody is coming to get me)

I am grading papers in my office. Somebody knocks on the door. I am immediately annoyed because it is probably our neighbor asking for money. I know she will not give me a hard time when I say no, but I don't go to the door. I don't want to talk to her. I am more annoyed because I want to go make cookies for our potluck when I am done grading, but now I feel like I need to hide in my office because she will keep knocking. Sometimes she will knock for twenty minutes. I know she won't give me a hard time, but I don't want to go to the door. My phone rings. It is Ryder. He is at the door, dropping something off. We talk for a couple of minutes about our upcoming potluck. I finish grading. I go downstairs to make no-bake cookies. We are out of sugar. I am annoyed again. Like always, I want to have the whole day scheduled and I was going to make cookies after I finished grading. I remember that I gave the same neighbor who asks for money some sugar awhile ago. So basically, it is her fault that I don't have sugar. Giving things away sucks because then you don't have them when YOU need them. I am really annoyed. I remember that I was just at Krogers on Monday. I could have gotten sugar. It would not have made a drop of difference in our financial situation and would not have taken any of my time. I have the car today. I think of driving to Krogers now. NO, I think. It is nice out and UDF has sugar. I live in Franklinton. Most of my neighbors don't have cars. I will walk to UDF. I am immediately on the defense. My shirt is too tight. I put on a baggy sweater. If a man in a nice car slows down next to me, I will flick him off. I will yell "Fuck You. Get out of my neighborhood." I will scream. I start walking. I walk down Dakota. There is a man ahead waving at me and he doesn't have a beard. I am immediately suspicous. It is Nate, Patience's roommate/ Allie's boyfriend/ local rockstar. We talk for a couple of minutes and I keep walking. I make it to UDF. The sugar they have is processed and expensive. I am annoyed again that there are no local grocery stores that carry wholesome products. Because I walked, I feel behind my self-imposed schedule. I walk home. Everyone is outside. Everyone seems like they are in a good mood. I say hi to an older woman reading on her porch. I pass the Kaufman's house, Dave's house, the Bowman's house, the home of two girl scouts, a community garden, and Gladden. A kid at Gladden stops and gives me a hug. The sun is shining. I get home. I am a little sweaty from wearing the unnecessary sweater, but that is all. The flowers are blooming around our house.